Mt. Irenaeus

Last weekend I went on retreat with members of the men's spirituality group of which I am a member. We went to Mt. Irenaeus a ministry of the Friars at St. Bonaventure. The following is the final entry in my rpayer journal for that weekend.



Just back from an hour’s walk in the woods. As I walked I kept repeating to myself that I just needed to trust myself. It seems so simple. Why haven’t I done it? I began to think of all the people who saw me as fundamentally good: Grandma, Marilyn, Paula, Fran Blighton, Sr. Therese, Tim, Richard, Tom, Anola. There are so many; why didn’t I hear them? Why did I think I had to be different, had to have some kind of agenda for change? It was because of my attachments, beliefs, fears just as De Mello writes. Where did these come from and why were they and are they so powerful that I distort myself in light of them? De Mello is right in the sense that they come from culture, society, family. Sometimes these are innocent and unavoidable; sometimes they are intentional and diabolical. Why would a five year little boy think that people were trying to poison him except for the fact that he sensed there was something wrong with the way he was.

No matter how deep and how strong, these are lessons that can be unlearned but awareness and understanding. No program of change will accomplish anything other than reinforcing the attachments. Joyce’s description of a retreat in Portrait of an Artist as Young Man struck home to me and my classmates because it was exactly our experience. We were told that we were bad, yes basically bad and that we needed to change. Discipline was the key and it carried within it the seed of destruction. Nothing ever worked, at least not for very long. It could never work but it kept us in an inferior position. Unfortunately the Church has used this approach and continues to use it.

We begin in a blessed condition because of that fundamental existential relationship to the Divine. We are not sullied or wounded with original sin. The world is wounded in that way and it is the world that wounds us, not the other way around. Our struggle is to keep the world from distorting that fundamental relationship and the freedom and life that come with it. That is the human task. That is my task.

I stood before the wooden cross at the end of trail and spoke to Jesus. He knows exactly what I go through; he faced the same human condition. It is not original sin as personal but original sin in the world. He kept himself free from that or understood his circumstance in a way that freed him. It was that world that crucified him, not me and my sins as we were taught. I asked him to help me follow his same path, not by following a set of rules but by freeing myself as he freed himself, by taking up his cross which is really no cross at all but radical existential freedom. Surely this is the meaning of grace, divine life in me. I heard him tell me that he and I were in exactly the same situation. The divine life at the core of his being is the same divine life at the core of mine. I am to become like him. The divine deeply desires that I be so and sends me a superabundance of life through that relationship. All I have to do is be open to that life by freeing myself of attachments, beliefs, and fears. I have gained a deeper appreciation for the meaning of sunder warumbe.

What now? I desire to be more faithful in my prayer and reflection. An hour a day is not too much to ask of myself. I would spend the hour reading scripture and works that feed this understanding: Meister Eckhart, De Mello, Fox and others I am sure. I can do this each morning as soon as Marilyn leaves for work. It is quiet and peaceful.

All this puts the Church in a difficult position for me. It has been and continues to be a source of my problems. How can it be otherwise? It is part of this sinful world that seeks to control me and distort my view of who I really am. Have not most of those who have written in this vein been punished or excluded by the Church? How can this be? It is part of the human condition and must be seen in that light. Salvation does not lie in the Church. My involvement with the Church must be such that it sustains this life in me. Every reform movement in the Church began with similar insights, namely that the relationship with the divine is central and happens outside the structures and institutions of the church.

I must be a Very Unimportant Person

On March 10 I joined 1,000 Catholics from the eight dioceses in New York State in Albany to lobby our state senators and assembly members on the public policy issues important to Roman Catholics in the state. I had gotten up at 4:00 am in order to board a 5:00 am bus with 50 other people from the Diocese of Rochester. When we arrived at the Albany Convention Center, we went to the registration tables where our name tags were arranged alphabetically. I easily found mine and picked up a packet of materials for the day.

That's when I noticed a table at the end with a large sign that said: "Bishops and VIP's." Although I wasn't sure how a VIP would know he or she was one, I knew immediately that I wasn't one...even though I and the 1,000 other volunteers were there to do the work of lobbying. Frankly, I found it to be offensive and unchristian. Why create classes of people? Surely even Bishops and VIP's were not alphabetically challenged. Surely they could find their name badge just as easily as I did. It can only be that Bishops and VIP's are different from the rest of us, special, and in fact better and thus deserving of special treatment rather than being treated like the rest of us.

This may seem like a small thing but I think it speaks volumes about the problems with a church that creates status levels to no good purpose and in contradiction to the words and actions of Jesus Christ. "You know that those who are recognized as rulers over the Gentiles lord it over them, and these great men make their authority over them felt. But it shall not ge so among you. Rather, whoever wishes to be great among you will be your servant. Whoever wishes to be first among you will be the slave of all. For the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many." (Mark 10:42-45)

Those who have ears to hear, let them hear!

Do Republicans think we are all idiots?

I know we elected and then re-elected George W. Bush president. (OK, I know we elected Al Gore the first time but the Democrats didn't have the right lawyers in the right state.) But really, do they really think we have any interest in listening to the people who put us in this financial quagmire as they mumble on about the economic stimulus plan. Don't they understand that the American electorate rejected their policies of reckless foreign wars, overt militarism, monumental deficit spending to fund those wars as well as tax breaks for the rich, undermining the Constitution, and general incompetence due to decisions based on political ideology? Apparently not.
The Republican Party happily stood by as the economic disparity in this country reached historic levels. Republicans thought it was just great that the credit system was manipulated to extend an economic expansion in an irresponsible manner. They cooed approvingly as government oversight was emasculated so that even the SEC could find it appropriate to ignore specific warnings about Ponzi schemes, of all thing. They thought it wonderful that political rather than professional qualifications were used to appoint FEMA directors, U.S. attorneys, and God knows how many others. Ordinary Americans--the middle class--benefited not at all from these policies and schemes.

Last fall these ordinary Americans continued the protest that started with the Congressional elections of 2006: Enough is enough. Stop it with giving even more money and advantages to those who are already obscenely wealthy. Start worrying about us...because we are drowning out here beyond the beltway in all those ordinary places that the Republic media masterminds have portrayed in "patriotic" ads.

So when the man we elected to do just that along with his team says this is the direction in which we need to go, get out of the way. Sure make constructive suggestions; I don't agree with everything in the stimulus package. But don't pontificate political ideology. WE NEED HELP AND WE NEED IT NOW even if NOW will take two to three years.

Oaks of justice

The Hebrew scripture reading for the Third Sunday of Advent is from Isaiah 61. When I read the beginning of that chapter, I was struck by a verse that is not included in the reading although its substance certainly is.

They will be called oaks of justice,
planted by the Lord to show his glory. Is 61:3

Isaiah is telling the people that God will rebuild Jerusalem after its destruction and the removal of Jews to Babylon. He will reestablish his eternal covenant with them and the preeminence of Jerusalem, but this preeminence will be based on justice and mercy rather than worldly domination.

An oak is truly a magnificent tree: slow growing, solid, long lasting, large, and imposing. It stands as a monument to perseverance and strength as well as the peaceful shelter of its shade. What if each of our lives were such a monument, a clear sign of justice for all. This is how God desires to demonstrate God's power and glory. A group of people tried to be those oaks in front of the Border Patrol Office in Rochester. See the story in the Rochester Democrat & Chronicle. View photos.

Bail out of U.S. auto makers is a bad idea

Don't get me wrong. I want all three (GM, Ford, and Chrysler) to continue and to thrive. They are important to our economy and need to become strong and vibrant once again. But let's be realistic. The problems plaguing the industry did not happen over night. Anyone with eyes to see has been aware for the last thirty years that Detroit just didn't get it. It took them decades to understand that U. S. consumers desired high quality and fuel efficiency. They persisted in making lower quality gas guzzlers even to the point of convincing Congress that SUV's were really trucks and therefore should be exempt from the gas mileage standards. Mean while the Japanese manufacturer took quality management to heart and provided the American consumers with the cars they wanted. Later Korean cars did the same thing.

To give taxpayer money to be spent by the people that drove the American auto companies into the ditch just doesn't make any sense. Our economic system has a way for companies to deal with these problems and it is called bankruptcy, specifically Chapter 11. Just look at the way that major American airlines used bankruptcy to realigned its cost structure so it could return to profitability. Auto companies did to do the same. Frankly without going into bankruptcy, I doubt that they can reduced their structural costs and return to market viability.

The problem is that a company going into Chapter 11 needs to obtain financing and they are few financial institutions which would give the massive loans required. This is where the government can play a role by guaranteeing these reorganization loans. This would enable any of the three to go through the bankruptcy process rather than taking money or even loans from the federal government in the hopes that they would straighten out their affairs. The role of a federal bankruptcy judge is to insure that management does exactly that. Accountability to politicians is a weak and ineffectual substitute for this time tested legal procedure.

A bankruptcy is not an easy process. It will require reworking labor and supplier contracts to bring the cost structure in line with global competition. Honda and Toyota have shown that it is possible to build quality cars in the U.S. American manufacturers are not being asked to do the impossible just the difficult. Everyone needs to give a little, perhaps more than just a little. If American consumers end up paying a bit more for quality cars from American companies, that would be a small price to pay to keep this section viable. But just to have the same bad actors burn through more taxpayer money to end up in the same place is unacceptable.

50th High School Reunion

I attended my 50th high school reunion this month. Pictured here are three of the guys I spent a lot of time with during high school and college: Pat Miller, myself, Terry Noel, and Jim Steffen. In so many ways, they were exactly the same. I felt that same old connection. No wonder I liked them so much when we were teenagers!

We were members of class of 1958 from Rockhurst High School and of 1962 from Rockhurst College, both run the Jesuits and both all male. We reminisced and got caught up on our lives since then. We missed those who were not there.

Naturally I thought back to what it was like when I was 17 and had an unlimited future ahead of me. Of course, it didn't seem unlimited at the time. I only saw a narrow slice of all that life offered me. As I look back I can see opportunities missed and a life that could have been very different if different choices had been made. But I am pleased and blessed to be where I am now. On balance, I have no regrets other than I haven't kept in touch with most of these wonderful guys. I can remedy that.

The experience also helped me realize that my life now is not some point but rather a continuing process. I face a future that is filled with more opportunities that I might realize. I am not 17 but I am still in the process of becoming the person that God intended me to be.

September Delegation to Migrant Workers

On September 21, I and three others participated in another Rural & Migrant Ministry visit to migrant workers in in Orleans County. they work on the muck farms planting and harvesting onions, potatoes, cabbage, and other vegetables. We learned a great deal about the life and struggles of these workers. Most disturbing was the story of a mother of ten month baby. She has been fitted with an ankle bracelet while she waits for her adjudication and deportation back to Mexico. Her son was born in the U.S. and thus is a U.S. citizen. When she is deported, she cannot take him with her immediately. Eventually he too will be sent to Mexico but there will be, apparently by law, a period of separation.

On this trip, we also met two married couples who left their children in Mexico and came to work in the fields here. One mother talked about her four children, one of whom was only two when she left three years ago. Her story and others point up the desperate conditions they face at home. How bad would things have to be for me to choose to leave my young children as the better of terrible options I would face. it is inconceivable to me and most Americans. Our country needs to do whatever we can to assist Mexico in improving living and working conditions for these rural workers. To the extent that NAFTA has made conditions more difficult for farm workers in Mexico, it has created conditions that drive immigration to the U.S. Building a wall and increasing "border security" is no match for underlying economic conditions that causes parents to make such awful choices.

In a very small building that has housed as many as 25 workers in some seasons, we found some remarkable art in one of the bedrooms. The workers living there this season had left that morning to journey to Florida as the season here comes to an end. The three female figures are actually angels. You can see wings. Although hard to see in the photo, each figure had a halo as well. At some point, all the walls in the room were covered with drawings and poetry.



The drawing of Jesus is particularly interesting because it includes the well known Serenity prayer in Spanish. Even in the midst of this barely tolerable living condition, artistic expression provides a sense of hope and beauty.

View more pictures of this delegation.